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ANSWER ME THIS!


(here are some answers to some questions you have sent me)





Hi. I have been in a new relationship for about a year and I love her dearly. We used to have great sex and quite often. Now she just doesnt want to do it any more. I have tried a few times and she says she just doesnt want to. What do I do without making her angry by asking her. Please help...
whitegolf



Don’t panic! This is much more common than you might think. When a woman meets a hot guy she wants to hook up with her testosterone jumps through the roof. This means her sex drive becomes more masculine and she’ll get frisky at the drop of a hat just like you.
Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, mother nature decrees that after a period of bonking yourself stupid things return to normal in order that you can get on with the job of living your life. Can you imagine how little we would get done if we stayed as frisky as the first few weeks forever.

And this ‘getting on with life’ is where she is now stuck at!

For women the drop in chemicals can often be even more noticeable as their testosterone is usually lower than mens and they have the added nesting urge that makes doing the vacuuming and stacking the dishwasher about 8 points more appealing than shagging a horny hubby.

So the first thing to remember its not that she doesn’t want you or doesn’t find you sexy, its just that her body and brain have reverted to a ‘practical homemaker mode’, labelling the problems of her day more important than frivolous sex.

One thing to remember is that It’s impossible to lose your sexual energy, you simply redirect it into other areas, so your job is to learn how to entice it back.
There are several things you can do to rectify this, but they all take patience and understanding. Remember no one wants to be pressured into having sex. This will only make it worse. So your mission should you chose to accept it is to reinvigorate, in a clandestine manor, (without her realising you are doing it), her libido. And learn to master (control and express in other ways) yours, for the time being.

VERY IMPORTANT – All the following must be done with NO demands for sex and NO obvious expectations.

1. Get Away:- Take her away on holidays. Getting out of the house can be the best aphrodisiac. Stress is a sex killer

2 Rut Buster:- Re structure your days. Do things differently. Novelty boosts testosterone.

3 Chore Play:- Lighten her load. Take over some of her tasks to free up her time and help her relax. For a busy woman nothing is sexier than a man doing the housework so she can luxuriate in a bath.

4 Step Up:- Often when we live with a partner we slip into our ‘mother / son’ roles and become a little bit needy and pathetic. This is not exactly a turn on. So step up and look at ways to remind her what a resourceful stud you are. Dress like you used to, get out of the house, fix things, re-invigorate the power of the male energy in your life and watch her melt .

5 Max Relax:- Start learning the art of pleasuring her to pleasure you. Rubbing her feet or massage her neck and use the tantric techniques and breathing without her even knowing.
All Women love being touched just not always sexually, so make it your mission to find out all her hitherto undiscovered erogenous zones with absolutely no emphasis on your own satisfaction.

I know this ‘all about her’ attitude may seem more than mortal man can muster, but trust me it will be worth it. Your sex life with her and your own personal power will go through the roof, and if you set your mind to it, you’ll have fun in the process.

IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION - Email me Info@fixmylovelife.com.au

Body Language

This weeks topic on the shoe was body language.

There are over 700,000 movements the body makes to signal its intent

93% of all communication is non verbal

Women look for body language that suggests to them dominance in the areas they perceive as most valuable – Strength, Security, Kindness etc

Men look for signs of fertility that indicate a woman’s readiness for mating.

STUDIES – Studies have been done that show men are more attracted to the movements of a female who is ovulating. In one study strippers were found to make up to 75% more when they worked during ovulation.

This shows that even though we don’t realise it we are sending our signals all the time.

SHORT CUT – So why waste time trying to address the logic brain (the Neo Cortex) why not go for the seat of emotions the Limbic System, by brushing up on your body language

EYE CONTACT – Pick one eye and connect DON’T STARE. Wait for them to drop their gaze, smile or say hi – Only then return the gesture

EYEBROW FLASH – All tribes display an eyebrow flash for 1/5th of a second when they see someone they like – So enhance this by holding it a little longer

FLIRTING TRIANGLE – Zig zag your gaze from eye to eye and then to the mouth

PUPIL INCREASE – Dilation indicates attraction – This is why we like dinners with low lights. You can take herbal substances to enhance this effect if you want to get your subconscious message over

BLINKING – Frequency of blinking is another give away – If you increase your frequency or match theirs it helps to bond you to them

WRISTS Up – Showing the wrists is a sign of comfort and vulnerability

MIRRORING – This is a GREAT method that works in many situations
Make sure you capture the spirit not the exact movement and try and leave 30 to 50 seconds between them

THE TRUTH – The truth is we send of signals all the time and our biggest problem is our insecurity, which covers over or alters what would otherwise be perfectly effective signals – So the FIRST thing you need to do is get a grip of your self confidence and then let nature do what it was designed to do best

Why we cheat & what to do about it!

Cheating obviously hurts!

However demonising it as we do in Society makes it very hard to address the underlying issues and help change behaviour patterns.

The fact is 93% of cheaters say they wish they were not driven to do it.

Cheating consists of 3 of the most powerful forces and emotions known to man. Sexual desire, Self image & our desire to 'feel' Novelty – These 3 drives are fundamental to human life so naturally they need to be very powerful.

Just because you have not had the desire to cheat or have controlled it does not mean that it's easy for everyone.

The chemical vassopresin has been shown to regulate the desire to be monogomus so in some cases a serial cheater who finds themselves hurting not only others around them but themselves through their behaviour, may simply find they have an above average levels of vassopresin in their body.

Does this excuse the behaviour? No more than testosterone can excuse aggressive behaviour. But for the people suffering because of it. being aware of what is REALLY going on can help us understand better and control it.

If someone is balanced within themselves emotionally and balanced within their relationship they are very unlikely to cheat – However many factors can cause unbalance from stress to low self esteem. When this happens the urge to ‘feel better about myself’ can lead to all sports of destructive behaviours including cheating.


MEN & WOMEN Cheat For Different Reasons

MEN - Lack of balanced SELF IMAGE
Low Self worth,
Feeling old un-virile or passionless
Need to reaffirm their Alpha status in their minds
Novelty, boredom, Excitement, Joi de vie attitude
PAIN Relief – SELF Medication from depression or low self esteem

WOMEN

Lack of EMOTIONAL FULFILMENT
Feelings of wanting to be wanted
Feeling like you don’t have enough love, attention or passion in your likfe
Feelings of abandonment, or unworthyness
Feelings of being unattractive or not good enough
Feelings of boredom, excitement, power and control
Lack of emotional fulfilment in daily life


GOT A PROBLEMS

If you find you cant stop cheating .....

Or if you have a partner who you belive might be a cheat.....

Don’t suffer with it – Life is WAY TO SHORT to let this get in your way of enjoying a healthy happy relationship.

Contact me and let me show you how to understand and rectify the situation with my One on One Super Session (phone or in person). ask@geoffbarker.info

This week on Kyle and Jackie O

Ok this weeks topic is 'Why cant i stop cheating" - Something more people than care to mention know about.

I would LOVE TO HEAR your comments

Are you a Cereal Cheat?

Do you know someone who is?

Have you been cheated on and DID'T MIND?

Do you wish you could give up your Cheating

Have you been hurt by a cheat?

After the show Ill pop in and add my thoughts and give you some tips on what you can do to solve this very common problem

BREAKING UP - Geoff's To Do List

So here are the best actions to take
1) Give a few days Distance - Suggest you want to talk about something to allow for them to make emotional preparation

2) Pick a good place – Somewhere you can leave easily - Not to busy, not to quiet

3) Accept this is going to HURT - don’t run from the fact it will only see you backing down

4) Keep YOUR EMOTIONS in check. This is THEIR time to be upset not yours - Dont get angry, sad, horny, hurt, guilty or anything else - Just be gracious.

5) Agree to meet 2 days after - This gives time for a little calm and questions to be put for closure

6) NO CONTACT rule for 8 weeks - Its very important you cut ties totally no mater how much this hurts if you want them to have a clean break. Remember addiction is a powerful thing. A broken heart should be treated like any other addiction and 'emotional rehab' is the fastest fix for this. That means REMOVE YOURSELF completely from their life for this time period

7) They DON’T have to understand! - No amount of explanation is really going to make a difference. Give as much info as you can during your second meeting and leave it at that

If you would like to work thought your own situation email me ask@geoffbarker.info

BREAKING UP

Yes Breaking up is never fun but there are steps you can take to get through it as effectively as possible for both parties. And the first step is to realise

WHY IT HURTS SO MUCH

Have you noticed how irrational you can get when someone breaks up with you?

All of a sudden they seem to be so much more loved, wanted and needed than they were before they said they were leavening. You find yourself doing the most crazy things to get them back, and you act as if your whole life and future happiness depended on it.

You may even have a little voice in your head observing all your behaviour and saying ‘Are you NUTS!!! Why are you doing this you look like a Psycho”

The truth is you lose much more important things when you split up that the actual person

1 You lose your daily dose of endorphins (feel good chemicals)
Even if you didn’t get on you would have got this shot of chemicals simply from having them around. In other words a sense of, “Everything is as it should be in my world’ – When the situation changes suddenly and all is NOT how it should be your body panics wondering where it will get its next fix.

It then drives you literally to behave like a junky to secure your next hit of hormones. Doing and saying whatever it takes to get them back or self medicating with pitty, alcohol, excess, rage or drugs.

2 You lose your daily perspective on who you are in the world. Your SELF IMAGE
When someone leaves it says ‘you are not what I want’, This brings up HUGE issues within our heads as to ‘what/ who exactly are we now if we are not ‘the partner’ we thought we were’.
Our brains REALLY hate being told ‘we are not who we think we are’. We will defend our self perception to the death because it is so deeply ingrained. Hence the reason we can do such nutty things when we split up.

ADDICTION
Remember most of the pain you feel is due to the loss of your self image, your internal sense of well being and your self esteem. Technically it’s not the person you are sorry to lose it’s the feelings they provided, and the questions it brings up about who you are now and how you are going to replace your ‘endorphin & serotonin fix’


Think about it. How many terrible relationships keep getting back together because as soon as one person says they have had enough the other suddenly can only remember how much that person means to them.
Addiction is a powerful thing and even people we hate we often hate to lose because they are providing our daily sense of equilibrium (as bad as that may be)

IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A BREAK UP ----

There are some very powerful techniques you can use to get you through the hard times. If you are interested in getting the happy motivated you back again and learning how to move on drop me an email ask@geoffbarker.info

NEW BLOG - Releationship Secrets

Welcome to my new blog

After the show i will post all my thougths and research on the topic of the week so if you have anything you would like to add i would LOVE to hear what you have to stay.

join up and each week ill cover another relationship, dating, romance, love, personal development, self esteem or emotional happiness topic

Ill also answer pressing questions and fill you in on the latest relationships & science research

If you stick around i gaurantee you will learn something and have a much better chance at your very own Happy Ever After