Why we cheat & what to do about it!

Cheating obviously hurts!

However demonising it as we do in Society makes it very hard to address the underlying issues and help change behaviour patterns.

The fact is 93% of cheaters say they wish they were not driven to do it.

Cheating consists of 3 of the most powerful forces and emotions known to man. Sexual desire, Self image & our desire to 'feel' Novelty – These 3 drives are fundamental to human life so naturally they need to be very powerful.

Just because you have not had the desire to cheat or have controlled it does not mean that it's easy for everyone.

The chemical vassopresin has been shown to regulate the desire to be monogomus so in some cases a serial cheater who finds themselves hurting not only others around them but themselves through their behaviour, may simply find they have an above average levels of vassopresin in their body.

Does this excuse the behaviour? No more than testosterone can excuse aggressive behaviour. But for the people suffering because of it. being aware of what is REALLY going on can help us understand better and control it.

If someone is balanced within themselves emotionally and balanced within their relationship they are very unlikely to cheat – However many factors can cause unbalance from stress to low self esteem. When this happens the urge to ‘feel better about myself’ can lead to all sports of destructive behaviours including cheating.


MEN & WOMEN Cheat For Different Reasons

MEN - Lack of balanced SELF IMAGE
Low Self worth,
Feeling old un-virile or passionless
Need to reaffirm their Alpha status in their minds
Novelty, boredom, Excitement, Joi de vie attitude
PAIN Relief – SELF Medication from depression or low self esteem

WOMEN

Lack of EMOTIONAL FULFILMENT
Feelings of wanting to be wanted
Feeling like you don’t have enough love, attention or passion in your likfe
Feelings of abandonment, or unworthyness
Feelings of being unattractive or not good enough
Feelings of boredom, excitement, power and control
Lack of emotional fulfilment in daily life


GOT A PROBLEMS

If you find you cant stop cheating .....

Or if you have a partner who you belive might be a cheat.....

Don’t suffer with it – Life is WAY TO SHORT to let this get in your way of enjoying a healthy happy relationship.

Contact me and let me show you how to understand and rectify the situation with my One on One Super Session (phone or in person). ask@geoffbarker.info

This week on Kyle and Jackie O

Ok this weeks topic is 'Why cant i stop cheating" - Something more people than care to mention know about.

I would LOVE TO HEAR your comments

Are you a Cereal Cheat?

Do you know someone who is?

Have you been cheated on and DID'T MIND?

Do you wish you could give up your Cheating

Have you been hurt by a cheat?

After the show Ill pop in and add my thoughts and give you some tips on what you can do to solve this very common problem

BREAKING UP - Geoff's To Do List

So here are the best actions to take
1) Give a few days Distance - Suggest you want to talk about something to allow for them to make emotional preparation

2) Pick a good place – Somewhere you can leave easily - Not to busy, not to quiet

3) Accept this is going to HURT - don’t run from the fact it will only see you backing down

4) Keep YOUR EMOTIONS in check. This is THEIR time to be upset not yours - Dont get angry, sad, horny, hurt, guilty or anything else - Just be gracious.

5) Agree to meet 2 days after - This gives time for a little calm and questions to be put for closure

6) NO CONTACT rule for 8 weeks - Its very important you cut ties totally no mater how much this hurts if you want them to have a clean break. Remember addiction is a powerful thing. A broken heart should be treated like any other addiction and 'emotional rehab' is the fastest fix for this. That means REMOVE YOURSELF completely from their life for this time period

7) They DON’T have to understand! - No amount of explanation is really going to make a difference. Give as much info as you can during your second meeting and leave it at that

If you would like to work thought your own situation email me ask@geoffbarker.info

NEW BLOG - Releationship Secrets

Welcome to my new blog

After the show i will post all my thougths and research on the topic of the week so if you have anything you would like to add i would LOVE to hear what you have to stay.

join up and each week ill cover another relationship, dating, romance, love, personal development, self esteem or emotional happiness topic

Ill also answer pressing questions and fill you in on the latest relationships & science research

If you stick around i gaurantee you will learn something and have a much better chance at your very own Happy Ever After