Why we cheat & what to do about it!

Cheating obviously hurts!

However demonising it as we do in Society makes it very hard to address the underlying issues and help change behaviour patterns.

The fact is 93% of cheaters say they wish they were not driven to do it.

Cheating consists of 3 of the most powerful forces and emotions known to man. Sexual desire, Self image & our desire to 'feel' Novelty – These 3 drives are fundamental to human life so naturally they need to be very powerful.

Just because you have not had the desire to cheat or have controlled it does not mean that it's easy for everyone.

The chemical vassopresin has been shown to regulate the desire to be monogomus so in some cases a serial cheater who finds themselves hurting not only others around them but themselves through their behaviour, may simply find they have an above average levels of vassopresin in their body.

Does this excuse the behaviour? No more than testosterone can excuse aggressive behaviour. But for the people suffering because of it. being aware of what is REALLY going on can help us understand better and control it.

If someone is balanced within themselves emotionally and balanced within their relationship they are very unlikely to cheat – However many factors can cause unbalance from stress to low self esteem. When this happens the urge to ‘feel better about myself’ can lead to all sports of destructive behaviours including cheating.


MEN & WOMEN Cheat For Different Reasons

MEN - Lack of balanced SELF IMAGE
Low Self worth,
Feeling old un-virile or passionless
Need to reaffirm their Alpha status in their minds
Novelty, boredom, Excitement, Joi de vie attitude
PAIN Relief – SELF Medication from depression or low self esteem

WOMEN

Lack of EMOTIONAL FULFILMENT
Feelings of wanting to be wanted
Feeling like you don’t have enough love, attention or passion in your likfe
Feelings of abandonment, or unworthyness
Feelings of being unattractive or not good enough
Feelings of boredom, excitement, power and control
Lack of emotional fulfilment in daily life


GOT A PROBLEMS

If you find you cant stop cheating .....

Or if you have a partner who you belive might be a cheat.....

Don’t suffer with it – Life is WAY TO SHORT to let this get in your way of enjoying a healthy happy relationship.

Contact me and let me show you how to understand and rectify the situation with my One on One Super Session (phone or in person). ask@geoffbarker.info