BREAKING UP

Yes Breaking up is never fun but there are steps you can take to get through it as effectively as possible for both parties. And the first step is to realise

WHY IT HURTS SO MUCH

Have you noticed how irrational you can get when someone breaks up with you?

All of a sudden they seem to be so much more loved, wanted and needed than they were before they said they were leavening. You find yourself doing the most crazy things to get them back, and you act as if your whole life and future happiness depended on it.

You may even have a little voice in your head observing all your behaviour and saying ‘Are you NUTS!!! Why are you doing this you look like a Psycho”

The truth is you lose much more important things when you split up that the actual person

1 You lose your daily dose of endorphins (feel good chemicals)
Even if you didn’t get on you would have got this shot of chemicals simply from having them around. In other words a sense of, “Everything is as it should be in my world’ – When the situation changes suddenly and all is NOT how it should be your body panics wondering where it will get its next fix.

It then drives you literally to behave like a junky to secure your next hit of hormones. Doing and saying whatever it takes to get them back or self medicating with pitty, alcohol, excess, rage or drugs.

2 You lose your daily perspective on who you are in the world. Your SELF IMAGE
When someone leaves it says ‘you are not what I want’, This brings up HUGE issues within our heads as to ‘what/ who exactly are we now if we are not ‘the partner’ we thought we were’.
Our brains REALLY hate being told ‘we are not who we think we are’. We will defend our self perception to the death because it is so deeply ingrained. Hence the reason we can do such nutty things when we split up.

ADDICTION
Remember most of the pain you feel is due to the loss of your self image, your internal sense of well being and your self esteem. Technically it’s not the person you are sorry to lose it’s the feelings they provided, and the questions it brings up about who you are now and how you are going to replace your ‘endorphin & serotonin fix’


Think about it. How many terrible relationships keep getting back together because as soon as one person says they have had enough the other suddenly can only remember how much that person means to them.
Addiction is a powerful thing and even people we hate we often hate to lose because they are providing our daily sense of equilibrium (as bad as that may be)

IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A BREAK UP ----

There are some very powerful techniques you can use to get you through the hard times. If you are interested in getting the happy motivated you back again and learning how to move on drop me an email ask@geoffbarker.info